Seeing my turmoil, she visibly tensed up and her lower lip quivered a little as she bit down on it. Forcing a smile upon her beautiful face, she leaned closer and rested her head on my chest. Before I could even think about all the pleasurable sensations her flowing hair were creating on my chest, she burst out into long drawn sobs. All I could think of doing was to pat her back consolingly.
"Why?... Why did you do it?" she wailed.
'Man! I never do good with crying girls. I should'nt have patted her like that.'
Her hazel eyes were streaming with tears when she next looked up at me but what really came as a blow in the face was the intense agony reflected in them. Whoever said that eyes are but a mirror to the heart was indeed right. 'How could I be so naive?' The palm of conscience slapped right across my forehead. 'Of course it's gonna hurt her bad one way or the other! I had been stupidly making decisions for the both of us and she had been paying the price for it.' A wide grin enveloped my face as I thought, 'a good cry succeeded where everything else failed!'.
"Why did you shut me out so abruptly?" Her face was skewed, probably assessing the damage caused by the punch the night before. Emotions overwhelmed me as I reached out and pulled her into an enormous bear hug. Though it took her time to get over the shock, she responded. When we broke apart, there were question marks all over her face but there was also a smile of relief. I looked her right into the eyes and spoke, "because I love you!"
'What?' her face said it all!
"Though it may seem paradoxical, I love you too much to keep you tied to me forever. I was willing to let go so that you could have a better future."
"Better than this?"
'Is she mocking me?' I heaved a heavy sigh before proceeding. 'Okay, here it is. The moment of truth!'
"About a month ago, I was diagnosed with a rare disease." Her hands shot up to cover her gaping mouth as she mouthed the words, 'Oh my God!'. I always find it satirical how people are always willing to assume the worst case scenario, and in a moment's notice blame God for all the injustices in life. Though in my case, I don't know if the worst case is any worse than what it is already. Of course, my case is better in a manner of saying that I will survive. But what is survival? Is it merely being able to breathe? Or is it some higher calling involving the psyche of an individual?
A soft hand caressing my cheek brought me back. "Relax! Its just some recessive genetic thing..." I looked away, trying to locate the right words. Sighing again I turned to her and continued, "...the thing is, my neurons are failing and in about a couple of years' time I would be needing someone to pull the plug on me. Now I am sorry but I won't be able to give you the life..."
The rest of my words were lost in a passionate kiss she had planted on my lips and as if a detonator charge had been set off, intense memories of what happened here the night before came back in a flash. Amidst the pants and the moans she said, "...whatever....it is....we'll....fight....it....together". Expecting it and yet shocked at what I was hearing, I pulled her back and stared at her.
'God! She is beautiful.'
Her hair were all over the place and her bosom was heaving heavily. She was staring right back at me, daring me to contradict her. I looked into her eyes and finding nothing but understanding and determination there, I gave in and we continued from where we had left the night before.