Into The Future

As the train pulls out of the station and I wish you goodnight, I send a telepathic kiss across the ever-widening distance, hoping the winds would carry my love and gently brush it against your forehead.

And so it begins, the journey to our future. I breathe out a silent vow to uphold everything I have thought about this journey and the transformation I am to go through, to make amends to my nature, to stand by and work on my resolutions, to be who I want to be, to be who I have to be.

These past few days have been like a dream come true. The ominous potency with which our separation loomed overhead seems to have shrunken all our gargantuan differences to meager proportions. Once again, we were an innocent couple lost in the sweet charm of love, oblivious and impermeable to the surrounding muck and grime.  Once again the violins and harps were strung out while I found peace and solace in your arms. Whatever the issues and differences may be that have cropped up between us over the years, these few days have been what I dream us to be. And as much as I have enjoyed the love coming my way,  I have been pained by the realization that in spite of being this on the inside,  and in spite of this being what you really want for us, I could not create the right environment for us to stay this way, causing much pain and many unpleasant experiences for all of us.

Alas! Our days in paradise were marked this time around, and as I enter into the darkest tunnel in search of diamonds, I can only hope and wish that I get what I deserve,  nothing less and nothing more. That I uncover the fabled Mithandril along the way,  and when I emerge from the darkness at the other side, I have your loving arms to surrender into, and that that time we shall be one in body and soul not because of inevitable fate, but because that's who we truly are, who we truly want to be.