Requiem in desperation

Silence...Oh! Deafening silence.

The wrist watch ticks,
the shoe squeaks,
the cell vibrates,
but silence...nothing but deafening silence.

The bubble pops,
and I free-fall,
heart leaps, and dives again,
and silence...a complete deafening silence.

Everyone shout,
and share a joke,
they laugh aloud,
but inside silence...pure deafening silence.

Static buzzes,
eyeballs pop,
blood gushes,
as body rots,
and silence...eternal deafening silence.

Friends, gestures, seas, shores and boats

Okay people,
Am back for good. Got a net connection at my residence (finally)! ....

Sooo, am catching up with the backlog of stuff I had written but not posted...and talking of firsts, let me introduce you to the kavi(poet in hindi) in me...(with sincerest apologies to non-hindi readers) I present a series of shers (i guess I can call them that)...

But first a disclaimer. I accept that the first one is not an original and I got it as an SMS from a friend. And if you get a bit confused, read it as a conversation between two people arguing for their side of an argument, alternatively speaking a paragraph each...

यूँ न हर बात यारों से पूछो,
जो बात राज़ की हो इशारों से पूछो,
लहरों से खेलना तो समंदर का खेल है,
लगती है चोट कैसे किनारों से पुछो।

लब जो इशारों की जुबां समझना चाहें,
कहीं गुस्ताखी न कर बैठें,
हम जो किनारों का मरहम बनना चाहें,
कहीं कश्ती को ख़फा न कर बैठें।

इशारों की फितरत में ही है राज़ का ऐलान,
खेल के असली लुत्फ़ की तो करो पहचान,
लहरों के बिन उस कश्ती का सोचो क्या,
जिसे किनारे लगाने में ही है समंदर की आन।

यारों के दरमियाँ राज़ की कोई बात कैसी,
इशारों की महफिल में एहतियात की आवाज़ कैसी,
समंदर की हर बूँद का एक ही तो नाम है,
फिर सैलाब के बाद यह मुज़रिम की तलाश कैसी।

वक्त के तराज़ू में इशारों की अहमियत न तोल पाओगे,
यारी के लिए इससे अच्छा ज़रिया न ढूँढ पाओगे,
समंदर और किनारे में लाख नुक्स निकाल लो,
पर कभी दोनों को जुदा न कर पाओगे।

Hey, lemme know how you find them!

Ciao

Uncooked rhyme

There are times when you feel like shit inside,
when you don't know what else to try,
and all you wanna do is cry.

Times when the world seems a cruel place,
when someone you find very hard to replace,
and you seek her trace in every embrace.

Times when you dream about her all night,
when you want to be always by her side,
even if you know that it's not right.

Times when you start singing 'the lemon tree',
when 'we' becomes the new 'me',
and you wish never again to be lonely.

Silent Promise

I know its not easy

but am willing to try,

to be the wailing wall

when you need to cry.

I'll be the pin cushion

to take all your hurt,

or be the teddy bear

if you desire a cuddly spurt.

I'll be the closet

in which you can hide,

or be the veil

if you just want to step aside.

I'll be all ears

for all you wanna say,

or be a partner

if you need a gentle sway.

I'll be the melody

that your heart sings,

or be a perfume

when the world stinks.

I'll even be a nobody,

if that's what you desire.

Just to see you happy

is all that I aspire.

I'll be a friend

if you need it the most,

but please dear don't cry

as it hurts me the most.

Storm Riders

Over the mountains,
above the clouds,
there ain't any weather
for which we fly south.

We chase devil's tail,
n give him his hell back.
We scourge this evil world
like a hungry wolfpack.

Gale force means
nothing to us,
bring it on coz
that ain't even serious.

Let it snow,
let it rain,
you ain't seen nothin'
if you ain't got no pain.

We never gear up,
coz that's such a shame.
Just head into the wild
and it'll never be the same.

Lose all inhibitions
coz warnings are lame,
what we do here
is playing a man's game.

Never say die.
Never give in.
And whatever you do
just remember the name.

A thousand apologies!

A thousand apologies from the very deepest core of my heart to fellow bloggers. I was unable to blog these past few months because of terribly pressing circumstances. Don't worry, there's lots to come as I have gained immence experiences which (I hope) will be shared here in the coming weeks.

In the past month, I went on my first abroad vacation (a trip to Malaysia-Singapore), met (...well saw) a TV regular (Krishnamachari Srikanth), and biggest of them all, joined a corporate concern....ya baby, am a professional now!

Well now have relocated to a completely new city and was until recently one of the multitudes here, drifting eternally, searching for some welcoming piece of land to hold our roots. Will get back to regular blogging as soon I get settled in my new accomodations.

Until then.

To friendship!

Books, movies, food, art, sitcoms... These are the things people who know me would associate with me. But lately things seem to have changed. Books have been reduced to a couple of pages worth of battle between me and my lost soul. Movies just seem to have become long and boring; an endless charade of minuscule characters living their lives while I am supposed to sit back and enjoy my popcorn. Food is now just a daily routine I have to undergo because I have been doing it for so many years, the very reason for which is probably forever lost within the many folds of fat I have accumulated. Art itself seems to have abandoned me, probably looking for more succulent individuals while I struggle with just the faint reminiscence of what I once was. Sitcoms glaringly thrust in my face, the 'happy' lives of so many others; faces which so very easily make the switch between the reel and the real ones... The list is endless!

This past fortnight I have been living the worst nightmare possible, you know, the one in which you aren't really sure if it actually is one or not. Its like the whole cast of a creepy movie rolled up into me. Sometimes I feel like crying, like a poor little victim, someone totally innocent whom fate has thrust into monstrous scenarios. Other times I laugh. No not the sweet one, but a real malicious kind of sneer-meets-laugh thing, as if after a long and hard struggle the target of my wrath is right in front of me and I begin picturing what exactly I am gonna do with it. Then there are the times when I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. These are the moments I just while around, groaning and moaning, desperately trying to find something in this whole blue world that would interest me, or at least get me through the ordeal.

Initially I thought it would go away with time. But in actuality, if its possible, it seems to be growing with each passing moment. And I tell you folks, it is pretty complicated, explaining to your parents exactly why you were smiling uncontrollably when all you were doing was chatting with some old friends. Or why sometimes you just loose it in completely unprovoked situations. But most of all, dear reader, what is really tough is the grief you have to live with, the insurmountably dull melancholy of life without your friends. I tell you what. It is now that I have realized what 'losing a part of yourself' actually feels like, I can safely say that ages and ages of bards and writers who have touched upon this subject are not exaggerating even a bit.

With this literary eye-opener I bid adieu, and raise my glass for a last toast, "to friendship and beyond"!

Cheers.