Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there lived a prince, in a land not near not far. The times were evil and the lords were many. But the prince was naive and didn't care for one and all. He was the crowned prince and soon to be the King, why would he have any worry? All day long, he would be brave and strong. People would see him and remark, "lovesong! lovesong!". But inside the Prince knew, he could feel, he had a dream, to find the perfect Queen, to call his own and be called her King. For her he would take a million stings, he would fight back dragons and smite the foes within. When he would return from battle, virtuous and victorious, she would look at him, with eyes that gleamed for no other, but her hero, her man! He would be the crown jewel to her, with hearty laughter and songs, with love around and no worries to mar.

Throughout his kingdom, he went from maiden to maiden. But none could be the perfect one for he. "Woe and sorrow! the perfect match of dreams shall always be a dream to me," lamented the prince after every fruitless sortie. The days grew long and the nights grew longer. The quest became sour and the soldiers went under, but the perfect one could never be seen.

But then the winds turned direction, and fate smiled back. The skies cracked and swore, the seas were at a roar. A bright light split through the castle, the prince came to, awake and startled. He blinked his eyes and rubbed them again, he pinched his sides and saw her again. An angel from heaven above, flew down softly and gently, came to rest beside him, softly and serenely, leaned to his ear and whispered, "Search no more for the perfect me. I am here now, for yours to be."

Jolly days came back again. The kingdom rejoiced and there was nectar again. The price was ecstatic for all to see. He would beam around and prance to thee. Pain was banished and there would be no sorrow. He would live each day like there's no tomorrow. The light in his eyes, the song in his soul, he had finally got all that and more. But happy days would not be forever, the angelic beauty would be reminiscent forever. Yearning for the perfect he, which the Prince was not but seemed to be. In the castle she could see, in fear of darkness, the shame to be. The prince was prince no more, but a pauper in being. There was no strong arms, no spirit to be. A shadow of the illusion, the naked Prince could not be seen. There would be no victorious battle, but hasty retreats. There would be no happily ever after, but soul-fragments to glean.

Such disgrace! Such disgrace! The crowned prince coudn't show his face. The more he tried to be the dream his beauty dreamt, the further away he dragged himself to be, from all he meant. He lost the charisma, the valor. He could speak no more, his sword lay silent. Whenever he would shudder back from the dire satire, he would resolve harder to try again. To be the man he wanted to be, to give his angel a King to be. To be enough to make her see, what lay in his heart, what he wanted to be. But he was always too late, always too slow. The past would always get to his throat. With every fall, he withdrew within. With every fall, he gave up on him. Until one day
nothing was left of him, but failure and sorrow, misery and wallow. The princess could look at him no more, reminded of every failure, she would just sit in a corner and talk to her scars. He yearned to fade away into the darkness, to not torture her beautiful queen with memories of what were and could have been. And so ends the tale, of a Prince who could have been and a Angel Princess who was, of two lovers in love, but two who could never.

Stupid In Love

Can I be stupid in love?
Have a bright smile
everytime I see
your pretty face.
Can I dance inside
prancing along
with your playful eyes?

Can I be stupid in love?
Be amused
by your mistakes.
Can I forget the past
capturing within
your lover smile?

Can I be stupid in love?
Laugh out loud
at your tantrums.
Can I erase the pain
rising from the ashes
and get lost
out of sight?

Flower Market

I had been silently and secretly planning it for sometime. I knew she loved flowers, I mean absototapositively adore them. And then one day, reading the newspaper, I saw a new report on lesser known places of note in and around the city. And guess what, they had started off with a 'Flower Market'! Yay! My heart almost did a jiggle inside as I had been on a lookout for something like this for some time. So that was it. Mission Flower Market Surprise was on.

Now came the planning part. I googled for some days about the whereabouts and reviews about the place. I thought of asking some local people, but then thought better and just stuck to google. I got into a habit of asking questions and seeking answers about the plan. I got the where, the when and the hows. I noted the bus routes to follow, the start times of the buses etc. The memories are a bit hazy now, but I think we had to change somewhere in between. Everything was going smooth until one fine day I bumped into a small article on some non-descript website. Uh Oh! Houston, we got a problem. The best and probably the only time to enjoy the place was early morning, when traders brought in and sorted their goods. They would then start selling them and then onwards, it would be all downhill. Okay so that does'nt sound as bad, does it? But add to it the fact that the place was on the other, and I really mean other, side of town and would be at least a couple of hours' bus trip one-way. Yes I think you can see what I was getting into. Well, ideating on it for a few days did'nt help. In hindsight, I could have explored some other transportation options, but well, at that moment, I tried my best.

Okay, so I was all set with the homework. And now came the long wait for the correct opportunity, the right moment. Sigh! I waited and waited... and waited some more. Whenever at home, or in office, I used to get some time, I used to google and revise the bus routes and the location names of the places to make sure, I don't forget anything till I actually can execute the plan. That went on for sometime and then BAM! One day, we had to spend really, really late night hours in office...errr...or somewhere, am not sure now. But I do remember her suggesting us going to the office library to wait out a few hours before daybreak and then catching the first bus home. The little me inside me was smirking as she was setting up the stage for my entree. I lay down the floor about a surprise place worth the efforts visiting, which can be done only right now. I guess she had her inhibitions, but relented under my insistance. Okay Rocky, The show's on! Then came the waiting for the right buses, travel, change, again travel, ....yada yada yada...and we finally reached the spot along with the first rays of daylight. It was just like any other non-descript street in the city, sleepily waking up from the night that had been. I had started to get cold feet on the way, and the place did'nt look a bit like what I had imagined it to be. Well, whats done was done and there was no turning back now. So I started asking around and after a few false hits, finally nailed down the right alley. With anxiously beating heart, I lead her into the ever-narrowing place, listening to her expecting breaths with every step.

Voila! There were shops on the left and the right, small and big, shoveling....yes, you read right.... shoveling HUGE heaps of flowers. There were lots and lots of roses along with a lot of other flowers I don't even remember the names of... pretty orange ones, nice-smelling white ones, huge ones, pink, yellow, anything you can expect in such a place, just name it. She was there holding on to my arm, and jumping...yes literally jumping with joy, face beaming with the biggest and the brightest of smiles and mouth agape, giving out small expletives about how wonderful it all was. I wish I had a camera with me handy that day, for those moments, simply made me feel like my life was worthwhile. That suddenly it had got all the meaning in the world. That if I had to, I could live and relive in that moment for probably the rest of my life. Oh! How I wish to be able to do something like that every once in a while. Oh! How I wish it...

Well! thats at least the version I remember. But knowing me better, am sure I would have spilled the beans about the so-called 'surprise' plan somewhere in between all that. Nevertheless, the feelings, and the moments, were all worth it and would always be something good in me, something that no-one else can take away, something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Arise Awake Acknowledge

Tiny whispers of the wind flew by my ear
my brows puckered and slowly but steadily
my eyelashes split apart and I saw.
My arms saw the pincered chains
binding me to my gravestone,
my ears saw the melodious siren song
keeping me rooted to the spot,
and my eyes saw everything
that made me be what they wanted me to be.
And as I see, I refuse to stay and stagnate,
or grow in the path lighted for me by others.
I see the graying slivers of the sidebush
at the fringe of the pathway,
the beautiful and enchanting honey pots
forever mystic misty wisps
emanating from behind the curtain
and the low hum calling me from the other side.
Swing me from my perch and free me from myself
I behold myself in my mind mirror
and vow to be what I deem to be right,
to chart my own path, navigate where I want to
and fill what I have with what I can.
I am who I am, I would be who I want to be
and I don't wanna be anything other than
what I've been trying to be lately.

Exception Inception

"What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere."

One does not really realize the potential power one gives someone else when one starts believing in them. Its like surrendering your complete persona to an external entity, but only worse. You don't even realize what you've done until apparently a bolt from the blue slaps you across the face. And that is a harsh reality you wake up to my friend.

"Well dreams, they feel real while we're in them, right? It's only when we wake up that we realize how things are actually strange. Let me ask you a question, you, you never really remember the beginning of a dream do you? You always wind up right in the middle of what's going on. "

Ah! but when you wake up from this blissful yet self-induced train of thought, you do remember the beginning, and the long walk to where you are standing today, sometimes with excruciating clarity, all the paths less trodden in the spur of the moment become crystal clear to you. All the mistakes you've ever made glare you back in your face and you are left in a fatal predicament. To break or bear... that becomes the question, the most important one that you need to address.

"You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't be sure. But it doesn't matter - because we'll be together."