Our Ecstacy?

The dark shadows
Mercilessly broken
By screams and shouts
Writhing bodies
Sweating and ecstatic
Gyrating unto themselves
The senses abandoned
Purposefully led astray
I look around
And oblivious soles
Merged and disambiguated
Looking for that elusive bliss
Some longing for it
Some reveling in it
And there I lay
Wondering what you were doing
Missing you like hell
Wondering if ever
We would be what we could be
Maybe never
Maybe sooner than ever
I close my eyes
And grasp at my pulsating nerves
One can only hope…
One can only hope…

Fly Angel Fly...

Fly angel fly

unshackled, unrestrained

soar high unto heaven

blazing away

light up the sky.

Too long

kept you captive, have I.

Too long

bled away you have, sacrificed.

Bleed no more

dear angel

sweet love

no more pain

and no more cry

fly high

beyond the cloudy sky high

unto deliverance

unto salvation

don't worry about me

its your time.

Forever miss you

I shall my love

and look up as I smile

at the brightest star,

my angel in sky.

Fly high my angel

fly high into the sky

blessed I am

to have known this life

now is your time,

take flight.

But before you go

for one last time

my love

my angel

my sweet dear life

one last moment

kiss me goodbye...

My Baby!

I turn the latch and push open the door,
wishing to be somewhere I've been before,
to see your lovely smile,
to see you light up like you did sometime
when I'd been gone a long,
and been away for a while.
To see the love swirling in your eyes,
to hold you and touch you and kiss you and hug you,
or sometime just to be with you,
to be there with you tonight.

I look out the window into the dark moonlit night,
and send you a silent whisper,
hold on to it tight.
This storm too shall pass
and the days shall be bright.
We shall again walk alongside,
on the sands at the shore,
carving out our names
and sculpting faces once more.
Or maybe take a dip in the sea,
floating hand in hand, with you and me.

But I know we have come a long way from home,
now everything seems so barren and dry to the bone.
I know that you see the pain and hurt everywhere
but believe in me baby that there is peace somewhere.
I wish you wouldn't have to put up with this anymore,
wish you could be everything you can be and more.
I wish I could give you just my love all alone,
or even a single reason to smile, not mourn.
I wish you all the best and everything gold,
'coz you deserve it every bit, every ounce, and more.

So promise me you shall always keep that beautiful smile on,
while facing all your monsters, all your fears et al.
Promise you shall always be the best you can,
be the super-wonderful person that I know you can.
But if you ever feel the going getting too tough,
or just wanna pause and take a breather long enough,
you shall always find me there right by your side,
fighting for you, alongside you, forever, with all my might.

Engaged!

The drudgery around us simmered
as the cool breeze caught your hair.
Your breath was warm and gentle
and the ocean drowned out my fear.

The velvet sand stood ensembled
and the stars winked astray.
The moment strung on forever
and the beyond-boat world disappeared.

The enchantment of your smile was working
it swept me out into thin air.
A magical moment was upon us
I knew not, if I wasn't there.

Far away, the waves were a humming
Far away, the city spared.
The boat beneath us heaved a sigh
as gently closer I swayed.

Love drunk, a hapless haggard,
on that starry beach,
in that sultry air.
Divine elegance, your movement,
nectar sweet, your ambiance.
Hold on I could no more,
drawn in I was mystically,
like a dazed moth unto a flame.

Quivering lips finally made contact,
my heart pounding in my ear,
a million million sparks exploded,
as I gave in to the experience,
mind, body, soul, and tears.

‘Twas that night that meld us together,
together unto all our years.
Sweet children of the silver starlight,
souls intertwined in divine matrimony,
one for two, and two for one,
like the wee straddlers on our hands.

Into The Future

As the train pulls out of the station and I wish you goodnight, I send a telepathic kiss across the ever-widening distance, hoping the winds would carry my love and gently brush it against your forehead.

And so it begins, the journey to our future. I breathe out a silent vow to uphold everything I have thought about this journey and the transformation I am to go through, to make amends to my nature, to stand by and work on my resolutions, to be who I want to be, to be who I have to be.

These past few days have been like a dream come true. The ominous potency with which our separation loomed overhead seems to have shrunken all our gargantuan differences to meager proportions. Once again, we were an innocent couple lost in the sweet charm of love, oblivious and impermeable to the surrounding muck and grime.  Once again the violins and harps were strung out while I found peace and solace in your arms. Whatever the issues and differences may be that have cropped up between us over the years, these few days have been what I dream us to be. And as much as I have enjoyed the love coming my way,  I have been pained by the realization that in spite of being this on the inside,  and in spite of this being what you really want for us, I could not create the right environment for us to stay this way, causing much pain and many unpleasant experiences for all of us.

Alas! Our days in paradise were marked this time around, and as I enter into the darkest tunnel in search of diamonds, I can only hope and wish that I get what I deserve,  nothing less and nothing more. That I uncover the fabled Mithandril along the way,  and when I emerge from the darkness at the other side, I have your loving arms to surrender into, and that that time we shall be one in body and soul not because of inevitable fate, but because that's who we truly are, who we truly want to be.

Life

Life, is but a fleeting moment, and it keeps passing by ominously, while we listlessly let it be, engaging in the fruitless task of associating profound meaning with trivial arguments, cajoling ourselves into believing that the world as we know it shall end if we do not arduously engage in the battle at hand.

I mean seriously, we would hardly remember the reason for this rife a few years down the line. But then again, inexperienced that I am in the matter of relationships, what do I know of the world out there. People not wanting to live with someone can use laughable arguments like too much snoring to push for separation, and Lord knows, the situation in which we are and what we have gone through, I can be nothing but amazed that you still consider me good enough to be with after all that you have gone through because of me.

But then again sometime I wonder whether you really want to be with me,  or whether I am just the crutch that you no longer find value in but still are too used to, or if you are just bidding your time, waiting to strike us off the charts given the right opportune moment. I guess only you can know for sure, and I have doubts if even you do. But whatever be the truth, and whatever the future may hold for us, I want you to know that I want to thank you and Moanu from the very core of my heart and soul for trying to be with me, inspite of everything you say and show, to tirelessly bear me, even though every fabric of your reality is screaming out 'no more'.

I do not know what awaits for me in the future, but I do know for sure that my life ends the day both of you are not a part of it. It is not that I am used to you, and I assure you that the boy who can adjust and be like water in any situation is long dead. The only reality in my life is, inspite of my slip ups and mistakes, for the past so many years, I have irrevocably bound my happiness to yours, my failures to your dissatisfaction, my ascension to your ideals, and my life to your presence. I do not know if it is foolish or if this is love, but I do know that whatever you call it, that's my truth, and it shall be so for as long as I breathe.

Broken Mirror

Shattered into a million pieces,
Every time I scramble
To collect and piece together
Just enough of them
To help you see yourself clearer
Every time you glance towards me
But try as I may
The pieces of my former self
Do not stay together
Long enough for me to rebuild myself
And attempt to attain
My lost beauty, lost forever
My efforts too lost in vain.

Cast me away
O' beautiful princess
Do not look at yourself
Through the ugly mist that I am
A thing of beauty
I wish one day
You see yourself
And believe in
Who you truly are
Not just what you see through me.

Let me be just a mirage in your life
Keep me in your memories
As the gleaming polished mirror
you fell in love with
And gave place in your heart and home
Not the motley of shattered pieces
I have become now
Which can't reflect anymore
Rather just poke your soft heels
And make them bleed
Every time you don't walk away.

Piggyback Ride

A piece of heavenly stars
wrapped around my neck,
forged in our warm hearts,
tempered in silent pecks.
The unbreakable bonds
of love and respect,
beseized upon
by a million threats,
never give way, nor sway.
Minuscule specks of dismay,
pulverise in your golden glow.
So take care honey,
don't you know,
you make me feel,
you make me glow.
And every time I swing you so,
your all in my heart,
as am in yours.
The dark past,
begone thy grays.
Lets hold our hands
and look up so,
unto distant lands
and the future's warm glow.

My Angel!

An epitome of sweetness

Nectar dripping sole

Am thine forever

Thee do placate the soul.

Childish jibber

And a dreamer's visage

A mermaid's compunction

An ocean-breadth amass.

Am thine forever angel

I dream of heaven no more.

'tis you I claim for me now.

Be mine forever somehow.

I delve deep in crystal glitter

Of your eyes, Lo behold!

I see the seas o' stars so vast

Dragons of yore behold.

The Void Inside

Pain reeks,
tumultous sleep.
Forgotten sands,
broken strands.
Way within,
unknown haunt.
Faith, belief,
downtrodden pounds.
Scary shadow,
consumed soul.
Dark weather,
gaping hole.

Tonight

Tonight,
you lie by my side,
in wispy strands of memories,
in soulful sighs,
in woeful heart,
in lamentous songs,
that have no start.

Tonight,
we cuddle together.
Muddled,
wondering,
hoping,
dreaming,
of a future together.

Tonight,
we rise after the fall.
We stumble,
we strain,
we risk it all,
surviving another doleful day,
hoping for a better start.

The Silent Keen

Wisps of misty dreams
float away in swirls
of burned out ashes
of what had once been

The glory we had seen
of emerald greens
and sapphire skies
nothing remains
but rivers of ruby
flowing at our feet

A spark in the distance
shimmers for a while
and fades off into the haze
assaults my visions
transcends into empty space

I bury my face
too much to bear
too much to face
the memories still haunt me now
accomplices to my grave

You and I

Am lying in a corner,
am bleeding crimson red.
There's nothing that can be done now
and nothing that can be unsaid.
Our time, as it flashes by now
and all the pain that besets...

I still keep thinking about us,
the way that we were,
the way we have been,
and the way we said
to be each other's only,
the love of our lives,
forever until eternity.
And I can't even help it,
I can never stop it.
This feeling about you,
and I keep thinking about it,
just keep thinking about it all...

I wish that you and I,
could fly away together.
No we ain't gonna stop,
but at bliss land and sinner top.
You and I,
could beam at each other,
with nothing to worry about
always and forever.
Oh you and I,
with no cares of whatever
that pull us back,
pull us back to the nether-land.
You and I,
just you and I,
no you and I for me...

A teardrop rolls to its end,
everyone's gonna meet its maker.
There's nothing left to pretend,
no regrets taken to the supper.
I see your face, for one last time,
through the haze, forever mine.

And as my hand falls limp,
I still think keep thinking about it,
the time that we had had,
and all that we could have ever been.
Its just me and you,
and you and I,
beneath these stars,
and the bright blue skies.
Just you and I
wrapped in our arms,
this feeling about you,
I just keep thinking about it,
just keep thinking about it all...

Just a bagful of wishes,
and riches in joy.
An armful of peace,
for just you and I.
And the heavens may part,
let the angels all hear in.
There is no one like us
and no one that can ever be.
You and I, when we are both together,
we are the one and the only one
stronger that each other.
You and I,
just you and I,
no you and I for me...

Nights of Terror

Nights of terror,
Eden of red.
Path of horrors,
As I weep in my bed.

Your hand
was all I needed,
took it all in
but never succeeeded.

Trauma beyond comprehension,
when slick satan rises,
and without apprehension,
apprises.

Nights of terror,
Eden of red.
Path of horrors,
As I wept in my bed.

My moist wounds,
never move your soul.
Battered and defeated,
I vow to the sole.

Narcissic revenge,
now I seek.
Agonious avenge,
moot your reek.

Nights of terror,
Eden of red.
Path of horrors,
As I sleep in my bed.

Alone Together

Alone we walk
on the beach,
holding hands.

Alone we look out
at the drowning sun,
gasping for air.

Alone we sigh,
drinking in
the beauty in silence.

Alone we speak
out our hearts,
dreading the loneliness.

Alone we listen
to the silent thoughts,
whispers in the air.

Alone we smile,
reminiscing on
times gone by.

Alone you are
away from us.
Alone I am
away from us.
Alone we are together
with no respite in sight.

Demolished Heritage

Who am I?
I know not.
Who made me?
I do not recollect.
But I do remember,
feeling the gentle breeze
on my four faces
for the very first time.
I do still hear,
the rhythm of the drumbeats
at the annual festivals
celebrated all around me.
I shudder wondering about,
the need of the sacrifices
I had to witness,
being made to please me
or so they said.

Over so many seasons,
across so many oceans.
I have seen people fighting,
people dying and killing,
for what I could not know.
The mother's chest
has enough for all,
Then why do you rise?
Then why do you fall?
Four thousand and more
years went by,
and yet am ignorant
of the reason,
the driving force,
the answers to the questions,
where the questions themselves
come from.

But today I see,
nothing can fathom thee,
nothing can make you see,
the futility of your ways,
the mistakes you make.
I embrace close all my memoirs
taking them to my stony grave.
As you turn your monsters on me
both inners and outers,
and one by one I feel
my bricks falling to pieces
slipping out from under me.
Vile creatures,
don't you feel that what I do?
That the hand that rises
burns down something
not in its power
to save, to recreate.
Hope it realizes that
before its too late...

Nothing else matters...

Life has a way of getting to you, of getting you to get so involved with stuff that sometimes, even though its there in your heart and soul all along, you seem to loose touch with the concept of 'soulmate'. Then there are moments, mere blips in your lives, which in their own special way jolt out the mundane cobwebs, send a few sparks flying, and in general make your inner eyes open onto your inner-selves. It is then that you can see how futile that last argument really was, or how unimportant that upcoming promotion at work is. All that matters, all that really should, and all that really does, is that you are with your soulmate!

The Sacrosanct Liberty

There were no shots fired,
then why the very breath I take
reeks with the stench
of used gunpowder?
There is not a body in sight,
then why do I see
my fingers dipped in
dark crimson
dripping all over the place?
Something's not right,
yet everything seems to be
more beautiful
than I ever remember it to be.
I look out of the window
and the bright sun
is radiating the warm
coziness of a mother's womb.
The tender shivers
of the morning breeze
exhilarating the tresses
of the window plant
as it stretches and yawns,
opening itself
to the wonderful day to be.
The melodious carefree laughter
of the innocents running around,
embracing the bounty
that their lives would be.
I start feeling happy again,
feeling liberated from the misery and pain,
wanting to unite
with anything and everything
around and about.
I want to swing with the wild grass
growing in the distance,
want to drink in the moment
sweeter than nectar,
want to run and roll with the jolly children,
want to be the wind,
the earth and the ocean.
Beautiful dreams float in front of my eyes
as I smile and shrug away
the disappointment and the anger,
the resentment and the frustration.
I take a step towards the open window,
beckoning me onward to a better future.
Every step I take
takes me ever more higher
I rise slowly
closer to living my dream
towards attaining my desires.
As I float out of the window
I hear a dull thud behind
I nod on, knowing
that am off to a better place
leaving the monster,
my nemesis, the Lucifer,
far far behind...

Tick Tock, Tick Tock...

The Lament

I wanna talk so bad,
but just dunno what to say.
Come to think about it,
what I did,
keeps going on in replay
in my mind, but benumbed
by what happened,
I relive the moments
and yet still,
can't grab on to
anything that went on,
its all just a haze to me,
its all just all about what may.

Flights of fancy fantasy,
I was galloping on to.
One perfect day
after a long long night,
I could envision for me and you.
But that one moment
blew it all away.
My life, my dream, my fantasy,
all just dust in the hay.

And now, seems so far away,
the distances between
stretching on to eons,
the dark thorny path
where ghosts of what has past
and ghouls of the frightful what may,
venture without dearth
and leave us no scope, no say.

I know I was bad,
I know I swerved away.
I know I deserve no chance,
I know I blew it all away.
But still I wait here,
hoping against hopeless hope,
that the clouds shall part again,
that the endless night
shall lead on to the morning rays,
that you shall find it in your heart
to try to come back to us,
to try to come again.

If I may have one more chance,
just one more anyhow, anyway,
to try to help us be us again,
to bring back, that smile and dreamy eyes
bring that all back,
bring that all back to us again.