Our Ecstacy?

The dark shadows
Mercilessly broken
By screams and shouts
Writhing bodies
Sweating and ecstatic
Gyrating unto themselves
The senses abandoned
Purposefully led astray
I look around
And oblivious soles
Merged and disambiguated
Looking for that elusive bliss
Some longing for it
Some reveling in it
And there I lay
Wondering what you were doing
Missing you like hell
Wondering if ever
We would be what we could be
Maybe never
Maybe sooner than ever
I close my eyes
And grasp at my pulsating nerves
One can only hope…
One can only hope…

Fly Angel Fly...

Fly angel fly

unshackled, unrestrained

soar high unto heaven

blazing away

light up the sky.

Too long

kept you captive, have I.

Too long

bled away you have, sacrificed.

Bleed no more

dear angel

sweet love

no more pain

and no more cry

fly high

beyond the cloudy sky high

unto deliverance

unto salvation

don't worry about me

its your time.

Forever miss you

I shall my love

and look up as I smile

at the brightest star,

my angel in sky.

Fly high my angel

fly high into the sky

blessed I am

to have known this life

now is your time,

take flight.

But before you go

for one last time

my love

my angel

my sweet dear life

one last moment

kiss me goodbye...

My Baby!

I turn the latch and push open the door,
wishing to be somewhere I've been before,
to see your lovely smile,
to see you light up like you did sometime
when I'd been gone a long,
and been away for a while.
To see the love swirling in your eyes,
to hold you and touch you and kiss you and hug you,
or sometime just to be with you,
to be there with you tonight.

I look out the window into the dark moonlit night,
and send you a silent whisper,
hold on to it tight.
This storm too shall pass
and the days shall be bright.
We shall again walk alongside,
on the sands at the shore,
carving out our names
and sculpting faces once more.
Or maybe take a dip in the sea,
floating hand in hand, with you and me.

But I know we have come a long way from home,
now everything seems so barren and dry to the bone.
I know that you see the pain and hurt everywhere
but believe in me baby that there is peace somewhere.
I wish you wouldn't have to put up with this anymore,
wish you could be everything you can be and more.
I wish I could give you just my love all alone,
or even a single reason to smile, not mourn.
I wish you all the best and everything gold,
'coz you deserve it every bit, every ounce, and more.

So promise me you shall always keep that beautiful smile on,
while facing all your monsters, all your fears et al.
Promise you shall always be the best you can,
be the super-wonderful person that I know you can.
But if you ever feel the going getting too tough,
or just wanna pause and take a breather long enough,
you shall always find me there right by your side,
fighting for you, alongside you, forever, with all my might.

Engaged!

The drudgery around us simmered
as the cool breeze caught your hair.
Your breath was warm and gentle
and the ocean drowned out my fear.

The velvet sand stood ensembled
and the stars winked astray.
The moment strung on forever
and the beyond-boat world disappeared.

The enchantment of your smile was working
it swept me out into thin air.
A magical moment was upon us
I knew not, if I wasn't there.

Far away, the waves were a humming
Far away, the city spared.
The boat beneath us heaved a sigh
as gently closer I swayed.

Love drunk, a hapless haggard,
on that starry beach,
in that sultry air.
Divine elegance, your movement,
nectar sweet, your ambiance.
Hold on I could no more,
drawn in I was mystically,
like a dazed moth unto a flame.

Quivering lips finally made contact,
my heart pounding in my ear,
a million million sparks exploded,
as I gave in to the experience,
mind, body, soul, and tears.

‘Twas that night that meld us together,
together unto all our years.
Sweet children of the silver starlight,
souls intertwined in divine matrimony,
one for two, and two for one,
like the wee straddlers on our hands.

Into The Future

As the train pulls out of the station and I wish you goodnight, I send a telepathic kiss across the ever-widening distance, hoping the winds would carry my love and gently brush it against your forehead.

And so it begins, the journey to our future. I breathe out a silent vow to uphold everything I have thought about this journey and the transformation I am to go through, to make amends to my nature, to stand by and work on my resolutions, to be who I want to be, to be who I have to be.

These past few days have been like a dream come true. The ominous potency with which our separation loomed overhead seems to have shrunken all our gargantuan differences to meager proportions. Once again, we were an innocent couple lost in the sweet charm of love, oblivious and impermeable to the surrounding muck and grime.  Once again the violins and harps were strung out while I found peace and solace in your arms. Whatever the issues and differences may be that have cropped up between us over the years, these few days have been what I dream us to be. And as much as I have enjoyed the love coming my way,  I have been pained by the realization that in spite of being this on the inside,  and in spite of this being what you really want for us, I could not create the right environment for us to stay this way, causing much pain and many unpleasant experiences for all of us.

Alas! Our days in paradise were marked this time around, and as I enter into the darkest tunnel in search of diamonds, I can only hope and wish that I get what I deserve,  nothing less and nothing more. That I uncover the fabled Mithandril along the way,  and when I emerge from the darkness at the other side, I have your loving arms to surrender into, and that that time we shall be one in body and soul not because of inevitable fate, but because that's who we truly are, who we truly want to be.

Life

Life, is but a fleeting moment, and it keeps passing by ominously, while we listlessly let it be, engaging in the fruitless task of associating profound meaning with trivial arguments, cajoling ourselves into believing that the world as we know it shall end if we do not arduously engage in the battle at hand.

I mean seriously, we would hardly remember the reason for this rife a few years down the line. But then again, inexperienced that I am in the matter of relationships, what do I know of the world out there. People not wanting to live with someone can use laughable arguments like too much snoring to push for separation, and Lord knows, the situation in which we are and what we have gone through, I can be nothing but amazed that you still consider me good enough to be with after all that you have gone through because of me.

But then again sometime I wonder whether you really want to be with me,  or whether I am just the crutch that you no longer find value in but still are too used to, or if you are just bidding your time, waiting to strike us off the charts given the right opportune moment. I guess only you can know for sure, and I have doubts if even you do. But whatever be the truth, and whatever the future may hold for us, I want you to know that I want to thank you and Moanu from the very core of my heart and soul for trying to be with me, inspite of everything you say and show, to tirelessly bear me, even though every fabric of your reality is screaming out 'no more'.

I do not know what awaits for me in the future, but I do know for sure that my life ends the day both of you are not a part of it. It is not that I am used to you, and I assure you that the boy who can adjust and be like water in any situation is long dead. The only reality in my life is, inspite of my slip ups and mistakes, for the past so many years, I have irrevocably bound my happiness to yours, my failures to your dissatisfaction, my ascension to your ideals, and my life to your presence. I do not know if it is foolish or if this is love, but I do know that whatever you call it, that's my truth, and it shall be so for as long as I breathe.

Broken Mirror

Shattered into a million pieces,
Every time I scramble
To collect and piece together
Just enough of them
To help you see yourself clearer
Every time you glance towards me
But try as I may
The pieces of my former self
Do not stay together
Long enough for me to rebuild myself
And attempt to attain
My lost beauty, lost forever
My efforts too lost in vain.

Cast me away
O' beautiful princess
Do not look at yourself
Through the ugly mist that I am
A thing of beauty
I wish one day
You see yourself
And believe in
Who you truly are
Not just what you see through me.

Let me be just a mirage in your life
Keep me in your memories
As the gleaming polished mirror
you fell in love with
And gave place in your heart and home
Not the motley of shattered pieces
I have become now
Which can't reflect anymore
Rather just poke your soft heels
And make them bleed
Every time you don't walk away.